Born Again, page 667
From Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy
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It was in April, 1904, that I first heard the “still, small voice” of the Christ and received healing through Christian Science; and the blessings have been so many since, that it would take too much space to name them. Reared from childhood in an intellectual atmosphere, my paternal grandfather having been an orthodox minister of the old school for forty years, and my father a deep student, ever seeking for the truth of all things, I began early to ponder and to study into the meaning of life, and came to the conclusion before I was twenty that though God probably
existed in some remote place, still it was impossible to connect Him with my present living. My highest creed, therefore, became, “Do right because it is right and not for fear of being punished.” Then began the suffering. Sorrow after sorrow followed each other in rapid succession; for ten long years there was no rest, the road was indeed long and hard and had no turning, until finally the one thing that had stood by me all through the trials, namely, my health, gave way, and with that went my last hope. But the last hour of the night had come, the dawn of day was at hand; a dear friend left Science and Health upon my piano one day, saying that I would gain much good by reading it.
Glad to get away from my own poor thoughts, I opened the “little book” and began to read. I had read only a short time when such a wonderful transformation took place! I was renewed; born again. Mere words cannot tell the story of the mighty up-lifting that carried me to the very gates of heaven. When I began to read the book, life was a burden, but before I had finished reading it the first time, I was doing all my housework and doing it easily; and since that glorious day I have been a well woman. My health is splendid, and I am striving to let my light so shine that others may be led to the truth. There have been some mighty struggles with error, and I have learned that we cannot reach heaven with one long stride or easily drift inside the gate, but that the “asking” and the “seeking” and the “knocking” must be earnest and persistent.
For a long time I was always looking back to see if
the error had gone, until one day when I realized that to catch a glimpse of what spiritual sense means I must put corporeal sense behind me. I then set to work in earnest to find the true way. I opened Science and Health and these words were before me, “If God were understood, instead of being merely believed, this understanding would establish health” (p. 203). I saw that I must get the right understanding of God! I closed the book and with head bowed in prayer I waited with longing intensity for some answer. How long I waited I do not know, but suddenly, like a wonderful burst of sunlight after a storm, came clearly this thought, “Be still, and know that I am God.” I held my breath — deep into my hungering thought sank the infinite meaning of that “I.” All self-conceit, egotism, selfishness, everything that constitutes the mortal “I,” sank abashed out of sight. I trod, as it were, on holy ground. Words are inadequate to convey the fullness of that spiritual uplifting, but others who have had similar experiences will understand.
From that hour I have had an intelligent consciousness of the ever-presence of an infinite God who is only good. — C. B. G., Hudson, Mass.